Black As Disillusion

by Kiss The Blade

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      €9 EUR  or more




first album CD


released February 1, 1998



all rights reserved


Kiss The Blade

First gig 1992, a couple of records 1994 - 2002, a couple of shows 1992-2002. Hard Goth.

contact / help

Contact Kiss The Blade

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: Raise My Head
She starts to descend the stairway
She comes down to me
Nothing moves and noone speaks
But I can do it easily
She is like them drowning children
Celebrating fear and pain
All her hopes remain uncertain
Still she's waiting in the rain

Tomorrow we shall meet again
For a detailed nighttime session
I can't wait to touch her hands
Despite this devastating passion
Where I can hold her
Where they can see
On the other hand I doubt that she is good for me

I must feel really bad to taste it again
This could be the only reason
So she's gone forever

Straight ahead
Satisfaction guaranteed

Again I know that I won't listen
Her beggings leave me cold
Once I made my decision
Now my soul is sold

Helpless begging for salvation
Only she can give to me
Her hands keep grabbing my heart so tightly
Where is our heaven I fail to see
Helpless begging for salvation
I can't forget, I can't escape
Tomorrow I'll raise my head again
And see her waiting in the rain
Track Name: The Enemy
Go on, call it weakness
But you're the loser of this war
Call it none of my business
Now here I am and I'll find you there again

So soon I got you on your knees
So soon the lights have changed to green
I can't rest and wait in silence
After all these things I've seen

You got eyes to face it all
The walls around you are not so tall
But fine, relax and watch the sunset
I will stand and you will fall

And when the new day comes
Again those days gone by return
How much time has passed since then
I don't care, I let them burn

After a while the newness is gone completely
And then there is this kind of dread
Kind of creeping dread

Still your hand rests on my shoulder
But you turn your eyes away from me
And one by one we end the day
Now as you think that I'm the enemy
Track Name: Make It End
All that's left for me to ask for
Is to return to you for just one more time
And feel the safety I remember
Then go and leave what once was mine

Wait and wait and hours pass
'till finally the night arrives
Well done, and now the boredom changes
Yet there's so much going on in my life

I go on to where you pushed me
Some direction I can't stand
Hope is fading as I can see
Not many ways how it could end

More days to come with your face stuck
Deeply inside my head
Turn around, turn around, turn around and turn away
I see my dreams, they fade on me

Useless struggles led to blackness
How could I let it all come to this
Laughing helps me through the day
For how much longer can I go on this way

Make it end
You leave me waiting for what never comes
Let it end
But you don't even know what you have done to me
Track Name: Subsoil Combat
Within the first weeks I got that feeling
I could tell you everything, you said
Oh, yeah, so you started thinking of ways
How to treat me right
Just bear in mind that I am not your pal, my friend
Always bear in mind that I am not your pal

I'm halfway through a shady combat
But nothing will harm you as long as I'm around

There's not much more for me to do now
Only time will prove you that I'm true, you said
And as I sat there longing for what I thought I'd lost
I answered slowly how I'd love to believe you
But it changed as soon as I left you in the doorway
No opportunity to tell you what that morning had achieved
How our trust and our hope defeated my fears
My doubts extinguished by a flood of relief

Unexpected avalanche
Again I'm trembling, you said
And after all these words of what had happened
I understand you wished I'd told you all before
Bloody disguise
I ended my feigning but it would be a lie
If I claimed I stopped it all on purpose
Bear in mind I'm not your pal
Track Name: Vain Try
Again I sit aside and smile pretending
Not to watch them getting more than they deserve
I can't take it with a smile no longer
Don't say I blind myself to facts with sheer belief in
What I want to own for sure, 'cause it's not true

All they see, all they expected is a joke beside your silent traits
This foolish competition leads to loss and anger
Some uncool kind of jealousy holds me captive and it's
Not too hard to understand that only you can clear my headache

Oh, so we're far too far to get caught up, but you tell them things that I don't know
How come you seem to perform a duty when you join me in the dark
And like the last time this stitching silence has taken over
And I hate myself for having caused another spoiled night-out

As it is you are the force that makes my life stand up and fall
This is what happened and I remember how it was before
I'll never reaccept my way of living in former days
I know both ways now and I know which one I prefer

But can't you see I need your helping hand to pull me back
My one-sided tries are vain, 'cause in this game you're cause and effect
I give you what you want from me, but do you really care enough for me
You owe me nothing in return, it's just a deal to show me the things of our concern
Track Name: King
Don't ask me for what remains
Your picture here is wet with stains
The tragic taste of hostile games
Ended our ride - my friend

Precious moments are all gone
I won't ask you what went wrong
No need for me to come along
Or even turn my face to you

Nothing in my mind is new
Just one thing not to do
No, you've never been untrue
But still there's nothing more to say - admit

I see it clearly day by day
Some moments never fade away
The power I gained is here to stay
But will it help me stand this loss

Hear me speak and listen, too
All my thoughts are known to you
Kickout the candles, turn on the light
Make the painting shine so bright

Promise me the promise I
Never want you to deny
Hear my desperate silent cry
Oh, King - don't let it die
Track Name: This Second's Way
This is less than I expected
All delights that don't remain
Die or hurt me, nevermind
Just go and let me live again

I have no answers anymore
The chills remain behind the door
Everything so good and new
But I don't believe you

No space no more
No must no more
No love no more
No trust no more

I don't wanna see anything
Don't tell me what to do
Everything is on it's place now
And I have got no time for you

I walk to where I've been before
You can't impress me anymore
I face nothing but another love
Your arms before me, but step aside, I know that I have seen enough

One more night and I will feel this second's way forever
Someone around me falls to the ground and rests upon the floor
Just one more night and I will find some other hand to hold on
She cries "Don't leave me, don't turn your eyes towards the door"
Track Name: Sweet And Poor
Outside myself I sense love lurking
Planning more attacks on me
But I've built up walls noone can crush
Why love...

I watched the lights of neon red
But now I turn away instead of
Sharing my surroundings pleasure
Why love...

On the screen I experience the most
Like you I want not to be lost
You might awake to a brandnew life
Why love...

So sweet, so caring and so shy
I'd give up everything today
Just to watch her fade away again so
Why love, if losing hurts so much?

I feel like someone mad and wasted
Winds himself inside my brain
I have not found what I have tasted
The search for it drove me insane

May reason win over passion
I see my heaven's so far away
Believe me, I`ve learned my lesson
Why love, if losing hurts so much?

The girls that have knocked on my door
Calculating, sweet and poor
Have not been worth my close attention
Try so hard without a chance

At last my life has changed direction
No longer do I need a hug
The answer to my life's the question
Why love, if losing hurts so much?
Track Name: Day X
I fear to crush our fragile chain and
Yet I have to ask again
I promise you, don't trust in vain
I'll never mention it again
Let me ask you the last questions
Let me long for the last answers
The words you said made me cry
I felt like heaven, you know why

But the doubts about us leave me torn
You stab my heart with a thorn
You give me everything to do
My life is worthless without you

Hold me like you've done before
Two years I cannot wait for more
Six I waited just for this
Don't mind the things that I would miss
Feel my hand, reach out for me
Feel my grip, look out and see
Right in my face, in my eyes
I'll lead you to our paradise
Within my arms you can hide
I offer things, you decide
I give you what you want from me
With all your choices I agree
Has there something died between us
Is the result the lack of trust
Touch me again to seal our deal
Never turn away from me
Track Name: Ward
Read the Lovecraft story, it's all there, only more elaborate